Please Don't Feed The Wolverines

ANN ARBOR - Say, have you seen the game of Baskets and Ball? Created to be a great way to keep the young men fit and active during inclement winter months, especially when added to any existing vigorous calisthenics routine, "BasketBall" is fast gaining popularity among spectators in towns big and small (provided they have gymnasiums and field houses featuring ceilings of sufficient height). At the collegiate level, well regimented five-man teams can be a joy to behold with their precision bouncing and passing of the ball and intricate offensive and defensive strategies; giving the enthralled partisans another outlet by which to express their loyalties for each's own alma mater.
It is under this pretext that nationally recognized Duke University sent their budding, Methodist tobacco barons on the train from North Carolina to frigid Ann Arbor town to take on the new, relatively unknown Varsity of the University of Michigan. The ironically nicknamed Blue Devils were expected to mop the hardwood floor with the Wolverines after handing Michigan a sixteen-point defeat when these same two teams met less than two-weeks ago during tournament play in New York City. It should be noted however, that this Michigan "hoops squad" already surprised a then No. 4-ranked UCLA team in that same tournament prior to falling to Duke.
Much to the delight of the rowdy undergraduates and co-educationals in attendance, Michigan turned the tables on Duke this time around and earned an exciting 81-73 victory, sending the Devils home with their tails tucked between their legs clad in blue short pants.
The legendary Duke tactician, coach Mike Krzyzewski, was gracious in defeat acknowledging the raucous crowd as well as Michigan's shooting prowess saying, "Their boys rained the three-point shot on us like so many Jerry bombs over Warsaw during the Blitz." But his embarrassment in losing to an upstart bunch was evident during the waning moments of the game by the look of incredulous disbelief on the immigrant Pole's sweaty, reddened face.
At the final buzzer hundreds of students descended in jubilation to the playing court, chanting in unison, "It's great to be a Michigan Wolverine!"
Indeed.

Michigan sophomore Harris completes a dunk shot

Adventures in Oblivious Copy Editing

This is the front page of Wednesday's Ann Arbor News celebrating Michigan's victory over Florida in the Capital One Bowl, played New Year's Day in Orlando. Michigan's head coach, Lloyd Carr, had previously announced he would be retiring after coaching this one last game - a big deal in the land of Michigan football fandom.

I really hope that the person who wrote this headline is proud of their handiwork, because I am. It'd be a shame if this choice of words was completely unintentional. Yes, I will run with the innuendo:

So, it is great to be a Michigan Wolverine.

I was unaware the game was played in Thailand.

Best severance package ever.

Way better than a gold watch.

Maybe the Rose Bowl isn't that special after all.

There's a time and a place for everything...it's called college.

Carr was overhead asking, "Can I retire again?"

Always read the fine print of the Capital One credit card application.

Russell Crowe was unavailable for comment.

It's good to be the coach.

The Week of 1000 Miles

Sunday, May 20th: to Detroit

Driving to Detroit hardly accounts as a significant trip, but it became the first of the series of events in what became an eventful week.

The occasion for driving downtown was Game #2 of my six-game Detroit Tigers season ticket package. Game #1's balmy, sunny 74 degree reason-to-be-alive weather was replaced by 62 degrees, cloudy with a consistently chilly 15 mph wind that made me thankful I decided to grab a jacket just before heading out the door. The forecast for a break in the clouds and afternoon sunshine came to fruition around 5:00pm, after already returning home from the game. As it turns out, the right field, upper deck seats near the foul pole my friends and I occupy, not only provide a great vantage from which to watch the game, but also a great spot to pick up a wind burn.

Despite the lackluster weather, the Tigers got a strong outing from Justin Verlander and Brandon Inge hits his 8th home run. In the three Tigers' games I've attended this year, I've now witnessed 25% of Binge's home runs and his batting average fluctuate from .139 to .128, .122 to .156 and from .225 to .227. Way to knock the cover off the ball, Slugger!

Tigers beat the Cardinals 6-3.

Round trip mileage: 98

Help Wanted

Position: FEEL GOOD STORY

Job Description:  Defying the odds, befuddling the skeptics, slaying Goliath, reawakening the passion of a burned-out city, making dreams become true

Qualifications:  Remarkable, youthful talent; playing with heart, emotion, & determination; ability to heed the advice of grizzled, loveable curmudgeon; spraying champagne

Prior Experience:  Decades of ineptitude & futility

Status:  NO LONGER TAKING APPLICATIONS.  Second round of interviews, as of 10/07/2006

Position:  SECOND FIDDLE

Job Description:  Despite ample talent, and flashes of brilliance applicants will always be second best

Qualifications:   Standing in the shadows; history of self-implosion; unraveling at inopportune times; possession of massive inferiority complex

Prior Experience:  Numerous years in the fields of second banana, court jester, annoying next door neighbor, or red-headed stepchild

Status:  FILLED.  Again, as of 10/07/2006

Tigers 4, Yankees 3, Series tied 1-1

Oh, and those tickets I have to Game #4 are now for a chance to see either team clinch the series with a win. And, the Tigers game now is scheduled in direct conflict with the Michigan/MSU game. So, I'm not sweatin' it.

If It's October...

It must mean the Tigers are in the playoffs (Although I'd be a lot more confident about their chances had they not been swept by the Royals this weekend)! Yes, the Tigers are returning to the playoffs for the first time in 19 years and I have tickets...Sort of. Finishing up the season at home with the Royals on the schedule, a team that lost 100 games this season, a team the Tigers lost to only once during the course of this season's prior 15 match-ups, seemed like a gift from the schedule makers. Had los Tigres managed to win one of the three games this weekend, two which they blew (5-run lead Friday, 6-run lead today, three bases-loaded, 1-out situations in the last two games in which they came away with no runs), they would have won their division. Thus, earning them the right to host the first round series and be guaranteed two home games. The game I purchased tickets for is home game #2 and would have been played on Wednesday afternoon. 

Now because Detroit finished as the Wild Card qualifier, they must travel to New York to play the Yankees and are only guaranteed one home game. For me to see the Tigers in a playoff baseball game, in person, they must win at least one against the Yankees to force a Saturday game in Detroit. It's a plausible scenario, but not one that comes without other conflicts of interest. 

Saturday is also the Michigan-Michigan State football game, scheduled to be played in Ann Arbor at 4:30. This pretty much guarantees I'll miss viewing significant portions of that game (should the Tigers still be playing at that point) regardless of what time the Tigers' game is scheduled to start. I guess I should just be happy that the Tigers have finally made it back to the playoffs, after years of horrible, horrible baseball, and enjoy the ride as long as it lasts. It really has been a great season of baseball in Detroit.

Eat It, Mary!

Jesus saves, but not today.

Let me go a little off topic today.

I've been aware of Michigan football from early in my childhood, but I became completely cognizant of Michigan football during the 1986 season. I have recollections of watching certain games, from seasons prior to that, but it was the 1986 season in which my understanding of the game of football, my idolization of the players on that team, the anticipation for upcoming games, an understanding of what it meant to have high expectations, the frustration of national championship aspirations derailed by an inexplicable loss to an inferior opponent (Minnesota), a classic UM/OSU match-up, and a crushing Rose Bowl loss, all synthesized into what became a lifelong dedication to Michigan football. Since that season, I have followed the outcome of every game in which Michigan played, watched almost every game that was televised, through my adolescent years, kept a scrapbook of Michigan newspaper clippings, and between the years of 1996 – 2003 attended every home game (save for Baylor in ’97), several road games, and three bowl games, the pinnacle of course being the 1998 Rose Bowl in which Michigan won the national championship.

The constant through all of those games has been a legacy of Michigan winning. Close games, lop-sided games, important games, rivalry games, ugly games, exciting games, but always winning more than they lose. So much winning in fact, that in the years in which there are just 7, 8, or 9 wins, it doesn’t seem like enough. To the Michigan fandom, so spoiled by all that success, those types of seasons are looked upon as disappointments. Peoples, whose jobs simply consist of talking or writing about winning (but who have no actual bearing on the winning of the games), point fingers, lay blame and pontificate on what should be done to rectify those 8 or 9-win years as so they become seasons with 10, 11, or 12 wins. Then they say that other programs—the Ohio States, USCs, and Notre Dames—have passed Michigan by, in terms of success and stature; such is the way of the world of big-time college football.

Well, Michigan, its players and coaches, made an announcement yesterday about how they were going to define their own success this season, in the form of a resounding victory over their much-hated rival Notre Dame. As a lifelong Michigan fan, I can say that yesterday’s win was one of the most enjoyable victories I’ve ever had the pleasure of watching. And for right now that's enough.

Indisputable Video Evidence.

All scores:

Detailed defensive highlights:

Detailed offensive highlights:

Further reading.

Another relieved Michigan fan basking in the victory glow