Help Wanted

Position: FEEL GOOD STORY

Job Description:  Defying the odds, befuddling the skeptics, slaying Goliath, reawakening the passion of a burned-out city, making dreams become true

Qualifications:  Remarkable, youthful talent; playing with heart, emotion, & determination; ability to heed the advice of grizzled, loveable curmudgeon; spraying champagne

Prior Experience:  Decades of ineptitude & futility

Status:  NO LONGER TAKING APPLICATIONS.  Second round of interviews, as of 10/07/2006

Position:  SECOND FIDDLE

Job Description:  Despite ample talent, and flashes of brilliance applicants will always be second best

Qualifications:   Standing in the shadows; history of self-implosion; unraveling at inopportune times; possession of massive inferiority complex

Prior Experience:  Numerous years in the fields of second banana, court jester, annoying next door neighbor, or red-headed stepchild

Status:  FILLED.  Again, as of 10/07/2006