Primo Trim

Sixty days of  bed rest came and went and I was left with a gargantuan scar on my backside and a ferocious Tom Hanks in Castaway beard.  Beards and moustaches are not my normal facial hair cup of tea and in the real world it isn't really possible to take the time to grow the kind of beard I was left with because this isn't the 1860s and I'm not repelling Pickett's Charge, but more importantly, in this day and age it is socially unacceptable to venture out into public looking like I did.  Yet, friends insisted that I keep it because, well, they are friends and they can revel in the hilarity of an awful beard without having to live with it on their faces.  Furthermore it was No Shave November and I had put all this time and effort into growing it, so I figured I would let the beard ride with some appropriate grooming.

Unfortunately, the rechargeable hair trimmer I already owned died on me before I went on bed rest so I needed to purchase a suitable replacement to attempt the task at hand.

After too much deliberation on Amazon.com I settled on the Wahl cordless beard and moustache trimmer.  I wanted something small, but mostly I wanted it too be inexpensive and that is what I ended up with.  Much to my amusement the Wahl Trimmer Corporation includes in their operating and trimmer care instructions a section about how to grow a beard.  I was surprised the section did not read:

1. Be a man's man.

2. Wait.

Instead, here is what I learned.

GROWING A BEARD

There a three key factors that will determine which beard style is best for you:

1. The shape and dimensions of your face.

2. The natural growth of your beard.

3. The thickness of your beard.  If you are unsure about the type of beard that would most suit your face, speak with a professional hairstylist.

Now I know.